im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
