Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I currently don't understand fingers.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
