I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
