mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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