Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize