Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
