i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize