He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
