If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
