I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It was like getting head from an anaconda
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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