she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you would pick up someone in the library
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
