A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
