Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
