I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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