and you said cock pushups were impossible
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
do herpes really smell.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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