so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
