I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
