I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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