hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
