Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
