i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Hippo gnu deer
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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