Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
