Ambien. No doubt about it.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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