i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize