the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
We smell like vodka and hangover
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