literally had 100 drinks last night.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
