i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My ATM looks so different sober.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Randomize
