I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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