what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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