She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
