She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
