Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
