We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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