if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
