Duck Duck Cougar?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
