I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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