no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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