wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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