it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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