Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
