Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
