There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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