I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
