fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize