If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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