It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I think a kid would responsible me up
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
