i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
