i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
