and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
