Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
