I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
