I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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