We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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