so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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