Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
