He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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