Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
