its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
