Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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