I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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